My Attempt at Poetry

I hardly ever write poetry. I am not very good at it. But, today, I decided to write a poem. I started, and I had no idea where I was going with it. So, if you want, read it and enjoy (if that is the right word). Let's call this poem "the potion to her heart."

The Potion to her Heart

The princess fell into a sleep so deep.
The King, her father, proclaimed on this day
“I must put a stop to my heart that doth weep”
And in proclamation, “here forth I say…”

“In marriage, I shall give my daughter’s hand
To the one who seeking the potion and finds
The potion without flavor and bland
Yet in blandness this potion shall be kind

For this potion you shall be sure
As you test it on the dark forest elf
Will be the one for the princess’s cure
That you must bring back to the Kingdom shelf.”

I set forth on my journey that day
For the potion to my princess’s heart.
For her cure, that is, I mean to say.
The dark forest edge is where I start.

I follow a pathway to the place
Where the magic potions hide.
The pathway vanished without a trace.
Two monsters shall fight, I must choose a side.

A goobledie gook and a kalamazoo
In a struggle, before they commence
Ask me what I shall do
A decision that must come hence

Kalamazoo and gobbledie gook
Each promise to help me
Then give me that look.
A choice to make, I now see.

If I choose in the wise,
The princess’s potion I get.
If my choice meets demise,
Then my fate also is set.

I choose to back the Kalamazoo
Whose fight results in victory.
A sigh of relief, sounding “whew”
The potion I can practically see.

The potion tastes like beer and ale
I know this cannot be right.
I find a boat and set to sail
In hopes the “real” potion is in sight.

I crossed some pirates in search of treasure
They say it is buried underground
They have yet to find their pleasure
For it is not gold, but a potion they found

Before I could have the potion I sought
I knew I must find gold to trade
It is a treasure that must be caught
Before getting the potion for my fair maid

To McDonald’s I sail
To buy a happy meal
Quite a twist in this tale
But don’t ask now, “what’s the deal?”

In my happy meal was a prize
It was a magical, special key
Upon it once I laid my eyes
To a sight for all to see

The key I showed to Pirate Jack
“This key, to treasure shall it lead”
I said, “Now put the potion in a sack.”
On my part, a dangerous deed

I set sail for the forest of the elf
In hope the pirates did not yet learn
Of the key received from myself
The wrong key for the treasure they yearned.

I found Forest Elf in the Keebler Tree
I showed the potion I hoped would heal
But, first I had to take a pee
For, now I must have broken the seal

“This potion is blah and bland”
yelped Keebler elf, who was a mess
“Take this back to the land
Where sleeping still is the princess.”

Before the princess I could reach
The road signs set me for a fall
First I got lost on the beach
And then was stuck in Montreal

Lo, this was not so bad
I found a friend named Youppie
He survived the Expos fad
And even had a groupie

No groupies for me
My heart is for the beauty in sleep
As is easy for one to see
The fun for now is left to Youppie

Youppie fought the fire-breathing dragon
They battled with honor and pride.
It was a draw; we were given a wagon.
Dragon, in respect, had loaned us a ride

This wagon to the Kingdom we took.
Of course, with a not so unexpected detour.
We were caught by the pirate with a hook.
The fight we had done left us sore.

This was not the pirate I had fooled.
Those pirates I never did again meet.
This different pirate was a tool.
He wanted the potion for princess, how neat.

“We have reached the Kingdom!” said I
to Youppi as we entered the walls.
“Finally,” I spoke with a sigh
“I can check my cell phone calls”

To the king I brought the potion.
He seemed busy, and said “next time first ring”
But was certainly intrigued by the notion.
“The cure is here!” said the king,
“Now it is time for me to sing!”

The princess was given the potion for sure.
At first her eyes stayed shut.
We wondered if ‘twas really the cure.
This must not be the end, but…

…just as I thought ‘twas all for naught
the princess’s eyes twinkled
And so a wedding ring I bought.
“Yay, I’ll be married before I am wrinkled.”

“Dear princess, our love will never end.
May your hand in marriage have I?”
“I like you just as a friend”
Said princess with sadness in her eye.

“You are way too obsessed in your quest
To try and win my heart.
To you,” said princess, “I wish all the best.
And watch the baked beans, they make you fart.”

You may find this story sad
But all is not lost.
Her hand could not be had
But all along that was the cost

My adventure did not turn out all poopy,
I got nice pictures on my digital cam.
I made a great friend named Youppi
And the King rewarded me with a dinner ham.