SPidge Tales

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Jessica Alba--my current Hollywood Crush

Yesterday, I went to the movies and saw Into The Blue, that new movie starring Paul Walker and Jessica Alba. Pretty good movie. Alba and Walker play boyfriend and girlfriend who own a boat on the Bahamas, and Walker likes to ocean dive looking for buried treasure. That Guy from Ready to Rumble plays Walker’s brother, and Ashley Scott (a somewhat new, under-rated hottie) plays his girlfriend. They discover a sunken airplane with bags and bags of coke, and it’s a question of whether they turn it into the authorities or try to sell it on their own and risk the wrath of the drug-dealers who want their missing coke. The plot is secondary to the main purpose of the film, which is watching Jessica Alba swimming in a bikini in crystal clear ocean blue. It was PG-13, and no sex scenes, yet they hit just the right camera angles many times. Even if the movie had stunk, it still would have been worth it just for her.

I think most guys probably have a top five list of “if she is on the cover, I will buy an issue of Playboy” women. As in, there are many guys, such as myself, who won’t actually purchase an issue of Playboy (it’s kind of creepy, ya know). I have Those Friends just like everyone else who have stashes of them, and I have no qualms about looking through when I am hanging out at their place, and it’s not mixed company. Yet, I steadfastly refuse to buy an issue unless any of a certain few girls graced the cover.

I would say three or four years ago, my numero uno chica would have been Britney Spears. She was the hottest celebrity at the time. She has gone down hill since, looking more and more like white trash every time her and Kevin Federline appear in the tabloids. A year ago, it would have been Lindsay Lohan. Mean Girls was out, and Lindsay was in her peak. Now, she has gone fake blond and anorexic. And, many guys would have said the Olsen twins, but that is some sick fetish. They dress like hobos, and combined weigh 110 pounds. Even guys who want to see them in Playboy, it’s gotta be just for the spectacle, because you know it won’t look good; it’ll probably be like Mena Suvari’s nude scene in American Beauty.

Right now, the two women I would pay to see in Playboy are my two Jessica’s. Jessica Alba, by far right now the hottest woman in Hollywood. And, Jessica Simpson. She has that down to earth, sweetheart, and a little bit ditzy thing going, and it’s hot. I don’t care if it’s chicken or fish, as long as Jessica Simpson is making my tuna sandwich.


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Anonymous Tara said...

I'm shocked that someone as intelligent as you can be turned on by Jessica Simpson. She's not even that hot. And she's a moron. Stick to the brunettes.

11:33 PM  
Anonymous byrney said...


12:36 PM  

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