Pet Peeves

We all have those little annoyances that just get us going. Someday, when I am President, I will make laws to outlaw my pet peeves.

The first thing to go is new fangled toilets. Both those supposedly enviro-friendly low-flushs, and those auto flush toilets. The low flows don’t save the environment. They are actually worse, because they always overflow, so that you have to do like 15 courtesy flushes to avoid a wet bathroom floor. And, those auto-flush ones; every time you shift your butt, they flush on you.

Next to go are those ketchup packets. They make such a mess, and each packet is good for about 1.5 french fries. At Catholic U, they had buckets of those ketchup packets, and for a plate of fries, you need literally a buckets worth. Only in my last semester did they switch to the ketchup bottles. However, they always ran out and never were refilled, so maybe the ketchup packets weren’t so bad.

The last to go in my America (until I think of others to add) is the popped collar and other metrosexual crap. That frat-boy popped collar look has got to go. And, along with it, this desire by men to look like boys. Guys, you should not be shaving your chests and armpits. If you have a hairy back, fine--you can shave that, but its normal to have chest hair and armpit hair. Unless you are a competitive swimmer or something like that, don’t shave your body. Men used to be able to look like real men, when the idealized man looked like John Wayne, Robert Redford, etc. Now, the “models” are Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Leo Dicaprio and others who strive to look as if in perpetual adolescence. They don’t even look like they are capable of growing facial hair, let alone chest hair.