Great Names!

This past weekend was the annual most over-hyped weekend in all of sports, the NFL Draft. All this scouting and research goes into determining which players to select, when, to an extent, the entire draft is a crapshoot. All that need be mentioned is two words: Ryan Leaf. Some of the better players of recent history, such as Tom Brady and Kurt Warner, have been late round picks and un-drafted free agents. There is still, nonetheless, some fun to be found in watching the draft. There is former (?) cokehead and Dallas Cowboys star Michael Irvin spouting his nonsense. “Defense don’t win championships. Points win championships!” We heard you the first time, Michael. Just saying it louder and louder over and over is not necessary. Nice pimp suit, by the way.

Most fun of all, though, I think, is the names of the players. Other than the top 10 or so players whose names have been pushed in our faces for the last couple of months, most of the prospects are unknown to all but the most devout college football fans. If you showed me two lists, one a list of the players drafted from the 2nd through 7th rounds, and one a list of the names generated by Madden ’06 for the player drafts in franchise mode, I would not be able to tell the difference. But, boy, are there some gems in there. The first pick for the Giants was Mathias Kiwanuka. That is an awesome name. You just know the Green Bay Packers are getting a great player in linebacker A.J. Hawk. Even without his long hair, he just sounds like a warrior. The Jets may have passed on potential franchise quarterback (and pretty-boy) Matt Leinart, but they got a name hall-of-famer in D’Brickashaw Ferguson. The Jets’ second 1st round pick, center Nick Mangold, has the best name in the draft. He would fit right in in Anchorman or Boogie Nights. I don’t know what he looks like, but he has to have one of those 70’s era porn mustaches. If he doesn’t, it is time to grow one. Make Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamblin, and Dirk Diggler proud. Stay Classy, San Diego!