Things I Have Learned

I have learned many things in my quarter of a century on this planet. At least I like to think I have learned some things. Here is a list of some of the things I have learned over the years. Are they the most important? I don’t know. Some are important, some are trivial. Are they the most interesting? Maybe, maybe not. There could be other things I have learned that are more interesting that I just cannot think of right now.

December 30, 1980—I learned what the world outside of the womb looks like. At least the Albany Medical Center delivery room, if not anything else.

Late 1981—I learned to walk (or, to put it in the exact words of the autobiography I wrote in 5th grade when I was 10, “I learned to walk when I was 10 months old, I haven’t stopped walking since. My sister Tara learned to talk when she was 10 months old, she hasn’t stopped talking since.”)

1983—I learned to talk.

1986—I learned that that there are other cities than Schenectady (my family moved from Schenectady to Rensselaer in January ’86)

1986—I learned that it is not a good idea to walk out of the locker room at summer camp with your bathing suit in hand.

1986/1987—I learned on “T” day in Kindergarten that there is a great soda named Tab. Sadly, it went the way of other great 80’s novelties like the DeLorean, Beta-Max, and Mr. Mister.

1987/1988—I learned that being the one good kid and getting to play basketball by myself in gym class while everyone else is in trouble and has to sit out, is not necessarily a good thing as far as popularity is concerned.

1988—I learned how to carry that one book and hold it in front of my pants while walking, even though I had a bookbag on, to help cover up the wet stain in my crotch area for the occasional times I wet my pants. (This “walking with a book in hands to cover you” trick would come in handy again in later middle school, when hormones starting causing other things to happen that you did not want to be noticed)

1991—I learned that sports on TV can be an enjoyable experience.

1992/1993—I learned in 6th grade that other kids can sometimes be cruel.

1993—I learned (or maybe this just came naturally) how to stop wetting the bed. A little after that, I learned what it was like to go to a friend’s house for a sleepover. No more having to make up excuses for not being able to stay over anyone else’s house.

1994/1995—I learned while taking 9th grade math in 8th grade that high school girls can be pretty.

1996—I learned that there is nothing you can do to “make” a girl like you. Either they like you or they don’t.

1997—I learned that going on a field trip to New York City and getting benched a basketball game for missing practice is better than staying in school all day, going to practice, and getting my token 2 minutes of playing time the next game.

1998—I learned that baseball is just a game and not to take it too seriously. I finally got really good at baseball.

1998 (Homecoming night)—I learned that you can say really stupid things when you are drunk.

1999 (Spring)—I learned that you technically are supposed to be in a car to get food in the Wendy’s Drive-Thru, even if you are being responsible by walking from the hotel across the street and not drinking and driving.

1999 (Fall)—I learned that college is a LOT more fun than high school.

1999 (Fall)—I (and all the other freshman boys living on 4th floor Joyce Hall) learned that there was one freshman woman straight across from our windows in Lyons Hall (the freshman girls’ dorm) who changed every night with her blinds open. She did not learn for a couple months.

2000 (Spring)—I learned that I may love baseball, but it doesn’t love me back. You don’t do well at it just because you like it.

1999-2003—I learned that my goofiness that got me picked on in middle school made me fun to be around and well liked in college.

2001-2004 (Summers)—I learned that if I act silly and goofy, people will love me for it.

2003 (Spring)—I learned that the greatest things I got out of college were not a degree, or book knowledge, or good resume fodder, but great friendships.

2003 (Fall)—I learned that grad school was not the same as college, and not as enjoyable.

2004 (Spring)—I learned to adjust and come to enjoy grad school and Washington, DC.

2004 (Summer)—I learned to not trust my feelings and that flirting means nothing.

2004 (Fall)—I learned how to write a good resume.

2005 (Spring)—I learned how long and arduous the job search process can be.

2005 (Summer)—I learned how much I missed college and grad school dining hall food.

2005/2006—I learned what it is like to live and work in the “real” world. I like it so far.

There are many other things I have learned. Some I don’t wish to share, some I just can’t think of right now. Stay tuned. I may add more later…